Above and Below, Bohol

Bohol is one of the top tourist destinations in the Philippines for a few reasons, two of them being the chocolate hills and the tarsier.

Before we hit the big sights we headed to the overpriced Alona beach to stick in a few dives. We got on a tricycle and after 5 minutes of normal riding we were stuck going a laughable speed that we could have out-walked. The driver got out numerous times to try and fix his bike to no avail. Finally we couldn’t take anymore so we got out and sat at the side of the blistering road waiting for a ride and an hour later we finally found a fully functional tricycle.

When we finally got to Alona we had very few options to choose from and ended up in a room in Lonely Planet recommended Tierra Azul that was one of the most expensive yet, and looked like someone had been murdered in it. We stayed there for 2 nights before Nick broke the shower and we decided to get the hell out of there. Diving in Alona I experienced one of my fears of diving – witnessing a school, yes a school, of great barracudas swim right before our eyes. As the other people in our group sat watching the fish in wonder, they had a laugh when they turned around and saw me swimming the opposite direction. Not my thing. We later came across some frog fish, nudi branches and lion fish which were all a first for me. These are more along the lines of what I like to see under water with frog fish looking like a mix of a grumpy old man and a frog, nudi branches looking like colorful splats of paint on the coral and lion being one of the most impressive fish having fins sticking way out their sides (seriously, google them). I also got to spend more time staring at my favourite fish – clown fish. These dives were also a lot easier than Apo island with no currents, but the visibility wasn’t quite as good. After diving in Alona there wasn’t anything else there for us so we headed to the interior.

We stayed at Nuts Huts which is extremely popular, so they only take bookings the morning of arrival and once you get there you can stay as long as you want. Because of this, our first night there was in a dorm. In the jungle. With no mosquito net. Our dorm mates were some really nice teachers from Korea and we had a great night learning a new card game (one of our favourite things to do), but when it came time to go to bed anxiety kicked in when one of the girls started getting into a story about how last night she woke up to multiple (!) spiders crawling all over her arms. Interrupting her, I explained that I was super arachnophobic and didn’t want to hear the rest then she tried to make it better by explaining they weren’t that big… I didn’t sleep much that night as there were also giant ants on the ceiling that were creating a thick dusting of wooden sand near the head of my bed, so I slept in a ball at the bottom covered in my sheet so no spiders could get in. Needless to say, we were very excited to get our own room the next night with our very own mosquito net. Nuts Huts is a wonderful place with exceptionally healthy eats, but be warned that there is a mountain of stairs that lead to the common/restaurant area so be prepared to flex some glutes at least twice a day. From here you can set out to see most areas of interest.

The tarsier is an incredibly original looking animal, with it’s eyes bulging out of it’s head and it’s long claw-like feet, it somehow manages to look cute. These animals are known to be one of the smallest primates in the world. They are extremely fragile and unable to live outside their native forest, but because of their looks they are unfortunately a hot commodity in the pet trade. There is a tarsier conservation center on the island where you can go and have a guide point out the critters to you for a small fee. It’s worthwhile to visit, but unfortunately we saw a few illegally-kept tarsiers before we even made it to the center.

It’s hard to believe before I left I had never heard of the chocolate hills because all over the Philippines they are the tourism snapshot of choice. The hills are technically “an uplifting of ancient coral deposits” and legendarily the tears of a broken hearted giant, but in the dry season the brown vegetation creates the chocolaty look. They didn’t let us down, but also didn’t amaze us. They are one of those things that are exactly as you see them in the (many) pictures, but are nonetheless a cool thing to see.

From Tagbiliran we took the very efficient and large (no sea sick-ness for me) supercat ferry to Cebu City. We got into a taxi at the port and without anything pre-booked (terrible idea) we started selecting random options from the guidebook. A half dozen let downs later and we were starting to get to that point where frustration takes hold of you. We finally asked the driver if he had any ideas, and one more let down we went across the street and arrived at somewhere somewhat within our budget, and jumped at the chance of having air conditioning for the first time. Exhausted, we went to sleep knowing that within days we would be on the super laid back Palawan.